Anjing

Oi me!

Y u So EmOtIonAl Like What tHe HelL seRiOUSly me ShouLD gEt A LiFe. NoW I aM BeiNg So EfFin PaThETic By WRiTing Lyke ThIS. I NeeD A PRopeR URL fOr My Blog. SiGhS

Woot. Today ; I am exhausted. Maybe because of too much laughing. I woke up around 8.30PM just now. Yes, I am that tired.

Not in the mood to write.

I guess I can start being panic right now. TET.

Tahi

Es-stupidas! A post full of sighs. I don't want to be that miserable bah! I am cool, not like that! :( Tahi for everything today. A day full of craps. Now I want to take an effin crap. Bye

Kimia

Sighs. Dad went back to Kuching.

I forgot that today is Icam's birthday. Seriously, I totally forgot about it even though I wished him on time for 2 years straight. I'm disappointed in myself, really. I didn't even know today is Adzman's birthday to be exact. Maybe I'm just gonna get them something next week. I don't promise on that but maybe! I wanna show I'm sorry. Sighs.

Today had been pretty boring. Well, not really but I think. Our English teacher just talked for the entire class. Encouraging us to excel in English paper. It does sound THAT easy anyway. But English paper usually depends on your luck. It's your luck if you can relate any topic of the essay's options to your life.

We did colouring during our counselling class with Mr. Monir. It was fun though. Colouring to determine your personalities. When I was half way there, he explained the meaning for the colours. It was catchy. I coloured the body of the turtle chocolate ; means I love to help people when they're in need. and red ; I have bad temper. and black too ; I am very stubborn. The colour of my leaves were purple ; I love to do nature activities that people are usually not fond of. I coloured the mushroom yellow ; I get jealous when I tend to see other people eat foods that I want. I coloured the skies blue ; I can go far in life, but I have doubts about it.

So I was like, which of these colours showed that I'm so kind that I treat people way too nicely that they always took advantage of me? Ha. I got mad at the beginning of that class. I accidentally poured out those cursing words when they joke, again. I guess I just can't take it anymore. I can seriously throw the chair out of the window if I really can't hold it in you guys. Appreciate my effort please? :)

Juliana taught us History today. and trust me, she's way better than Mr. Jantai. I can still remember the facts she told us. Thank God someone like her exist.

Again, arguing with you is such a waste of time. I'm always wrong. I feel like running away from you. I just don't know whether I can or not. I need you :( but everything you said in your last text make it seems like I burdened your thoughts. I really wants you to study. I'm sorry for always letting you down then. :(

Ho yeah, yesterday was fun oh? Kutip-ing rocks wasn't that bad after all. It was ridiculous but good, in a way. Esp when I got that feeling again. The feeling I last had when it was the beginning of last year. When I was still me. Things changed I guess.

I'm considering an addmaths workshop this Sunday. I just don't whether I should go or not. Please show me some sign :(

I was trying to study chemistry when I stopped and look for something else to do. I-Sucks. SIGHS

Smiles

Okaaay, I don't know what happened but he's acting all cute right now. Not sure whether it's a good thing or not 'cause when he's acting like this, it's either ; One, he's sad but he don't wanna tell me why. Two, he's angry but he don't wanna tell me why. Three, he don't want to worry me. Or four, he's just in a very good mood :)

I hope it's the last assumptions though.

Astaghafirullahalazim, left with 6 days and I am surely nowhere near ready. I feel totally lost right now :(

Dad

I realized something I don't like.

He won't be around for the Majlis Mohon Restu. Not even my birthday. And SPM. He won't be the one sending me to school like the exams I ever had before.

And yes, I prefer him on those days.

Crap.

Forgiveness

is not what I wanna hear from you. I don't want your sorry. Stop repeating if for like million times. I don't want all those sorries. I know you're sorry. I know how pathetically sorry you are. I want some actions. I want you to talk the talk and walk the walk. I want to SEE that you're sorry. I need to see your effort.

I need you.

I want you to erase those doubts in my mind. I want you to tell me I'm wrong. I want you to deny everything I said. I want you to tell me everything's gonna be alright. ;'(

I don't know how to make this clear, but I'm sorry is definitely not enough.

TET

If the last person you kissed invited you to a family dinner, would you go?
Well I'm pretty scared of his family but I'd probably go.

Has anyone ever told one of your secrets they promised they wouldn't tell?
Yeah, sure. You can't trust anybody right? Ha

Do you remember what you were wearing last time you cried?
Pjs

Do you have any friends you have never gotten into an argument with?
I don't think so. Maybe those common friends I don't really talk to.

Do you think you could survive living by yourself for a month?
Yeah sure, provided enough money and shelter.

Can you cook anything other then toast?
Yeap, I'm pretty good at cooking ;O

Have you ever lended the last person you called money?
Yeah sure.

How many times have you cried over the last person you cried over?
999326462952399 times.

Have you ever been in an on-and-off relationship? Soo annoying right?
Nope. I off it. But I never really officially get it ON again till now.

Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them?
Not that I knw of.

Have you ever been with someone who was really clingy? Did it annoy you?
Yeah, sometimes. But I loves he way he clings to me though. It's sorta cute. If he know where to and where not to, of course :)

Is there a store you go to so much the employees know your name?
No.

Did you get the last person you texted a present for their last birthday?
Yeah, but I never give it to him :(

Would you be able to live without the last person you fought with?
I've tried. But no.

Does your best friend get along with their parents?
I have no idea who I wanna considered my best friend. I never believe in that term.

Would you be able to tell me your mom's favorite food?
No....... :C

Has anyone seen you naked in the past 48 hours?
No.

Is there anything in you room your parents would be pissed about? What?
Not anymore.

Have you ever sneezed more then 10 times in a row?
Yes, it's darn annoying.

Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend?
Neh, I'm not annoyed by that anw.

Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans?
Er, no idea. I dont have any favs

Has anyone ever told you they loved you but not meant it?
Surely.

Have you ever helped someone while they were drunk puking?
No

What annoys you more to do, sneeze or cough?
Cough.

Would you rather a pet snake or a pet cat?
Pet cat.

Are you welcome at the last person you kissed house?
I don't think so :(

Did you have any unread texts when you woke up today?
No.....

Who was the first person you spoke to today?
Not sure. Grampa maybe.

Who did you see most today?
Mama.

Have you ever dated someone who smoked? Did it bother you?
Not really. But yeah it bother me.

Do you fall for all the lines about making guys/girls like you on magazine covers?
Ahaha, no.

Do you have a calender in your room? What's it's theme?
No not not not know allalala wth

Have you ever gotten anything racist about you yelled at you?
Yeah jokingly by Max fcourse.

Does the last person who's house you were at like anyone?
I don't remember whose house that was.

Have you ever watched someone being carried into an ambulance?
No.

Can you sleep easier with the TV on then off?
On. I hate silence.

Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex?
No..

Do you own more pink or black clothes?
Black.

Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you a stuffed animal?
Yeah sure :) Though I don't like it.

Do you think you could be with one person for the rest of your life starting now?
I wish I could. But things seems to be falling apart, again :(

What time did you wake up last Saturday? Why?
10. I slept early the night before.

What does the last body wash you used smell like?
Cherry

I miss him.

I miss what used to be him.

Babi ah

I don't want to hold on these tears and I don't want to bottled myself like this again. I already have you but why can't you be the person I turned to? I sensed another breakdown. I sensed it since the morning when I started to get all hyper and all happy. Yeah that's exactly the sign that everything won't be right. And look at me right now. You don't even ask me what's wrong.

I can't handle the things in the class anymore. I know you guys love to joke so freaking much. All the time, to be exact. But I have my limits too. Eh sedar lah korang. I can't even joke around with you guys, semua nak kecik hati. Fikir aku have no feelings eh? Wey I manusia lah. Again, I have my limits too. And you guys are getting on my nerves. Seriously now.

I need my cure. I need something to calm me down. I need those thing that helped me when I didn't have him around. I need loads of it but there aren't any around. I need to be skyfogging right now. I need to forget that I have you and I should have you helping me with myself. But you don't even reply to my texts.

My chest hurts. I'm not exaggerating stuffs but I guess I need to stop having so much expectations. I wish I can tell you what have been running through my mind the whole day. I wish I can put them into words. But all I feel right now is numbness in my heart. Disappointment towards us. Frustration for what I thought we could have become. You can't handle me. My efforts were useless. and I raise my white flag, I give up.

This is heartbreaking.

Take a bow

Do you like eating sour things?
Sometimes but not really. I prefer salty and sweet things.

Are your nails painted red?
I don't paint my nails

What is your definition of love?
Something I can't resist. Even though I know it's not good for me.

Do you like pickles?
Some.

Do you have any drinking cups with Disney charecters on them?
I have lots of drinking cups with pooh on em :)

Are you holding off on doing something right now?
Yes, tonnes of homeworks.

Excited for anything you're doing tomorrow?
I don't even want tomorrow to come.

Will you be moving anytime soon?
If next year is considered soon, yeah well maybe. But hopefully not.

Have you ever been on a baseball/soft ball team?
Never. I don't do sports.

What's the temperature today?
It's hot. But it's going to rain now.

What type of science class are you in, if any?
How can I answer this? I take physics, biology and chemistry. There. x)

Is there a television on in the room you're in right now? If so, is it on mute?
Yes, I didn't even turn it on.

Have you ever written a book? Perhaps you are writing one right now?
I tried to but I'm a failure.

Did you or any of your friends make a survey today?
I only do this one.

Favorite flavored milk shake?
Probably vanilla! :)

Do you like graham crackers with peanut butter and jelly?
I never tried that.

Does it annoy/offend you when people call something "gay"?
No.

Have you ever grew watermellons? How'd they turn out?
Never,

Was there a carousel inside of the last mall you were in?
No.

Favorite piece of jewelry?
Ring.

Are you going to a library tomorrow?
I am not.

What word do you always have trouble spelling?
Errr there's like a few. I'm bad with spellings.

Did you ever have a really close friend move away?
Yeah kinda.

What would you like to see if you went scuba diving?
Whales! and treasure. Erk

What's something you've always wanted to do?
Be happy and not worry about anything.

Do you know how to swim?
No but I just swim anyway.

Are you cold right now?
Nope.

Read any good books lately?
No. I dont read books.

What do you like to dip your popcorn in, if anything?
No.

Last form of exercising you participated in?
Exercising? Hahahah school exercise.

Did you plant any flowers today?
No.

What's your favorite flower and why?
Lilies. because someone used to call me Lily. HAHHA

Something you've always wondered?
What really happens after we die? <- Yes.

Would you rather have dinner with God or Buddha?
Errrr.

Have you ever worked with clay?
Yes, when we were in elementary school. Fav past-time!

What's the most creative thing you've ever done?
Idk

What's the most creative thing someone has done for you?
Wrote I love you on a chalk. Yessss you <3

Have you ever had a dream that you were taking a survey?
Not that I can recall.

Most useful thing someone has ever taught you?
How to cut my nails. Hahaha

What's the last thing you said aloud?
Tido oi!

Last song you sung?
Bieber's

What's your opinion of America?
Seems cool to me.

Do you or your best friend play in a band?
-

Do you have a lover?
I wish I can make it official. haha

In school, did/do you find yourself alone a lot?
Sometimes.

Can two living souls become one?
I have no idea. That sounds poetic.

Who is your truest friend?
I have no idea.

Have you ever played with moon sand?
No.

Have you ever bought a book about a religion, besides the bible?
Yeah

Nearest thing to your left? Why is the item where it is?
Cushion.

Last time you used a highlighter?
Few months back.

What is your opinion on smoking?
Smoking calms me down and I love the feelings it gave me.

Last song you listened to and what does it mean to you?
Entah

Is the sun shining today?
It shined brightly.

Have you ever had to do community service? How many hours and what for?
No.

What movie best describes your mood today?
I have no idea. But I feel bad for whats happening around me :/

Talking about accuracy? HA.

Take the color quiz! :)

Your Existing Situation

"Physical sickness, tension, and/or emotional issues have taken a toll on her life. her self-esteem has been crushed and she needs to quickly find a peaceful environment so that she can heal."

Your Stress Sources

Concerned about unhappy relationships; feels as there is no hope to restore friendship and trust. The situation is depressing but feels she must continue although she is exhaustive.

Your Restrained Characteristics

"Struggles to make her demands clear, but feels ignored. Feels resentful, but acts as if she doesn't care, doing what is necessary to keep peace."

"Struggles to make her demands clear, but feels ignored. Feels resentful, but acts as if she doesn't care, doing what is necessary to keep peace."

"Believes her hopes and dreams are realistic, but needs reassurance from others. Has strict standards when looking for a partner and wants guarantees that she will not be disappointed or lose."

Your Desired Objective

"Fascinated by the idea of mutual true love and tenderness. Embarrassed by this belief and refuses to admit openly she feels this way. Instead, she chooses to be neither loving nor tender to further hide her true belief."

Your Actual Problem

"Feeling a lack of energy, she does not wish to be involved in further activity or give in to demands. she is feeling powerless causing her stress, agitation, and irritation, all which she tries to escape by refusing to participate altogether. she is determined to get her own way in the end and is cautious as she puts her plan in action."

Your Actual Problem #2

"Current situation leaves her feeling anxious and restless, producing large amounts of stress and tension. Attempts to escape by appearing at peace and refusing to appear involved or interested."

Say it isn't so.

Just went back home from an outing with Kak Ug. Meet the girlfriend and had lunch together with her. You are very adorable lah, Amila :) Now I'm home doing this instead of attending my Physics tuition. Man, I'm sucha bitch when it comes to studies.

I've been trying to win his heart back. And I hope it's working. Even though it's so hard. I guess that's the only choice I have. If he's not gonna change, then I guess I'll just show MY effort to work it out. If it's still not gonna work, Imma just give up.

School is back but my brain still isn't functioning well. I want to gain my confident back. I want my productive brain back. GAAAAAAAAAAAH :(

I'm still having this fever from 2 weeks back. Now I'm having this period pain. These doesn't feel good at all.

Rindu :(

The 1st day of Aidilfitri

The first day went quite simple this year. We did not had our open house during this first day. But mom and grampa made something for the morning fcourse. It was delicious :) Our preparation for the day was quite little too. We did not even cut the cakes for we were too lazy the night before. Grampa and Abg Boboi made lemang and it tasted pretty amazing. So we went visiting the houses after we took hell loads of photos. The one above are the only one I decided to post up. Ehek! Well that was basically it. :) Quite a boring raya. There, I've said it. HAHA

Nemo.

At times like this, when I'm at the bottom of the wheel like this, there's something that might turn this frown upside down. And it's always the same person, I'm in need of Pipin :( You wanna know what's so special about him? He's 2 years old. He's very cute. Very very very cute. He treat people according to his mood. And he talk the cutest way anyone can ever talk. He's afraid of mannequin. and he hates it if he don't get what he wanted. Typical kids right?

The thing with kids is you can tell them whatever you want, they still gonna believe you. You can turn them down, but they'll still come to you. You can make them mad but they're always get back to you. No matter what. Kids are like that. and that's why I wanna be someone who'll deal with kids in the nearest future. Not to say a housewife, but something that gets me to meet more kids. More babies :) and what I really love about them is, every time I'm upset with them, I'll think about they're just a kid, they can't think wisely.

But if you're a grown up. A 17 y/o guy, whats your reason? Just because I call you my baby doesn't mean you can think like one :( Man I'm upset. UPSET. I've talked to him about the whole week situation and what seems to be the problem is me. He can't stand my attitude. Dude, I've been living my life holding back myself real badly from punching you in the face with that attitude of yours. Don't take this the wrong way. But I love you THAT much to hold on. So how come when you can't stand mine, you just stop treating me nicely and left me wondering what did I do wrong. I'm sorry to say this, but it's not fair. :(

I wanna give up. I wanna tell you the whole same thing I've told a friend of mine. If I bring that much misery to your life, then tell me why the fuck should I stay? I've told you I don't have the time to be sad with you. I chose you to make my life better. I never meant to make your life worst. When I used all these words, you're saying I'm leaving you. You're pushing me y'know. Don't make me feel tired with all these situation. I've left you once to teach you a lesson but it seems like I was the one who learnt that I can't live without you at all.

I love you, please be my baby back? The world is a better place if we stop arguing and be more loving as we used to sayg :( Don't give up on me. I really love you xx

Happy Eid!

I know this is quite late to say but ;

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin! :)

Maybe I'll update for the first few days later. Haven't got all the photos uploaded yet.

So that's it. Will write soon. xx

Trashed.

This is Pipin. And I love him sooooooooo much because of his cuteness and adorableness. He's irresistable. He may annoyed me loads of time but he still is the cutest thing I ever met! :)

Today I forced myself to clean the house though I'm having a pretty bad fever. But in the end, I got all the blame. Where's justice, man? I don't even wanna celebrate Eid now. Thanks to you, woman. You might as well handle ur OWN house here. You don't need my help. Thanks to you also, my room now is a total disaster. Though I was the one who made that, it's still your fault for making me feel that way. TET.

You don't even know whatever happened to me and stop assuming I have a problem with my attitude. I learnt it from you anyway. HEH.

All I need now is a place that welcomed me. And I shall stay there for this place is quite similar to a living hell.

Now

I'm start wondering where would life take me now. Everything seems unsure and I don't like that feelings. For a moment, it was perfect. For another moment, it seems so messed up. I don't wanna live in people's expectations. I don't wanna live in my own expectations either. The more confident I get, the more opposite assumptions the world is giving me.

I'm trying to gain your trust. Please don't doubt me. I know I may be unbelievable at times, but I do love you that much. I love you that much to try my best to gain your trust. Please see my effort. It won't worked out if I'm the only one who's trying. If you expect me to change, don't you think you should be either? It's a two-ways action. Baby, we can work this out, please? Just because I'm going nowhere doesn't mean you don't have to show me you love me. ;(

I'm sorry I've been bragging about the same thing over and over again. It bothers me quite a lot. It's confusing to know he act differently when I'm already so sure about this. It's heartbreaking. Maybe he can start by at least asking am I okay or not.

Well HELL-O! Yesterday, September 7th, I went out with sis and her friends. Well they are quite lovely I tell ya. Though I don't get along pretty well. Well there was Aom, Ctah, Meeza, Nisha and Leyna. At least Sheeira accompanied me by being a half-stranger there. Woot. Warung's Nasi ayam butter is the best I tell ya. And shisha though I'm having a bad fever. It got a whole worst after that anyway so whatever.

Aom is being annoying right now.

Just a short one

Who was the last male you texted, and how do you know him?
Baby fishy. :) I know him through a good friend of mine.

Were you single on your last birthday?
Nope.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
No. I'm feeling all miserable.

Do you talk a lot?
I used to. I only talk that much with me baby now. Only if he's in mood to listen.

Are you happy with life at the moment?
I wish. But most of th part, no. But I have a strong reason to be happy.

Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like?
No :)

It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
Probably one of my friend.

Are your nails painted?
No.

Last time you were really happy?
Last year.

Does someone love you?
Hopefully.

Does your ex have a job?
I don't think so.

Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
Well yeah sure.

Do you wish that you were somewhere else right now?
I wanna be on the bed. THE bed.

Have you ever slept in a car?
Always. I can't be in car for too long. So I need to sleep or else I'll get dizzy.

How many piercings do you have?
A pair.

Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you?
Yeah.

Have you fallen asleep in someone's arms recently?
I wish :(

Have you seen anyone you knew and purposely avoided them?
Yeah.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I hope I'll be in a real one though.

Are you currently falling for someone?
I fell too deep indeed. WAAAY deep.

Do you ever get shy around the boy/girl you like?
No. I'm me when I'm around him :)

How did you get your last bruise?
Acai pinched me too hard :(

Do you like reading?
I am no Aom.

What are your plans for this weekend?
HARI RAYA! :)))

Is there someone who means a lot to you?
Theres lots

Have you kissed someone in 09 that means a lot to you?
Yes! :)

What colour did you last paint your nails?
I don't paint my nails

Just gonna stand there?

and watch me cry? That's alright. :) Because you're so used to it already it doesn't matter to you. So yeah whatever with that I can hold it in, again. But be well prepared for the explosion.

I really missed you though and you make it seemed like it's a small thing. I've been waiting for the whole day yesterday for I thought you're missing me too. All your texts were so sad I thought you don't want to be there. It was a complete different story. Probably you were annoyed that you had to text me when you actually had plenty of fun to enjoy. You know I wouldn't mind if you just tell me you're busy. But making it seemed like you missed me too wasn't fair :'(

and now you simply sleep. Oh yeah in case you're reading this, don't blame me for posting this on my blog. YOU'RE NOT EVEN AWAKE TO HEAR ME OUT. Baby I need your comfort, why aren't you helping me. When I get all upset, you just gonna spit it out. So if I'm upset, where do you expect me to go? Write it in my diary where you would never find out? It was just a 2 day camp, and it seemed like you just realized I sucked out all the fun in your life. BLAH I'M DONE FOR THIS TIME.

Today I woke up feeling miserably happy (?) Those sad thought were in my mind but the fact that Abg Boboi sent Pipin here so that I can meet him mad my entire day. OMG he're just so effin cute I wouldn't let any girl be his girlfriend! And so I spent the day painting the house and I'm quite in love with the color though.

I was supposed to meet him today :'(

I don't wanna be here.

Well now I can say, WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA finally I felt better. :) Well a bit lah, not much lah tapi yeah better than nothing kan? :)

I skipped tuition today and I went to Parkson accompanying Kak Ug to do her raya shopping. Well I was supposed to go out with Azzren and Nurra but Azzren had her own problem so I went out with Nurra and along with her brother. And awwww I spent the day doing quite nothing :] But I do feel lighter after that hangout. Thanks babe. And oh I met Nurra's cousin for the first time. He's quite a charmer though. Haha :]

Things at home aren't well, again. :( Mama nagged since the morning about things she had been through this week. And trust me, I feel the tense too for I was the one who heard it at the first place from the cuzzie. Idk what to do. Idk which side to be on. I just realized that I lose faith in all these marriage thing. It's just too complicated.

Fishy is away to camp and Goddddddddd I can't wait to talk to him. Come home fast I've been missing you so much! My phone is quite dull without you. Nasib baik you left your smell at the teddy. Eeee imys! :(

Please don't disturb my mind for a few days. I just wanna be worry-free for a while. Really.

and this chocolate cake is superb! xx

Freeze

Baby I really wish I could control my temper eh :( But around you I really can't. I'm so used to being me around you. All those cursing just slipped out without me controlling. Its like you need to be told all that. The fact is I'm just joking around you. I didn't meant all those. I'm sorry. Not that you read my blog but really, I'm sorry :C

School holidays start today. I don't have the mood for the Eid's celebration. I have loads of homeworks. And the laziness is building up inside of me, like there is no tomorrow. It's another few weeks more before the final battle. And I am nowhere near ready. I just need to loosed up a bit this current moment.

I've been having constant headaches since 4 days ago and it ain't getting better lah. This body aches too and I need spa treatment immediately. I can't wait to hang out with them friends. I wanna forget all these problems for a while. A few hours will do too.

Ohmy Amie found my old livejournal. I can't believe this! That thing is full of him, man. I can't believe he had really read all that. Malu sangat ok! :( Haha ok lah not that it matters eh. So so yeah, I wanna sleep. Since baby is so mad at me right now he don't wanna text me. :(

Boohoo. Nytes

This is the way.

Look at my last post! It was approximately 1 year ago. Wow, how much things changed for the last 9 months of my life. Ehek! Okay I was just shocked that my last post is like that. I was still head over heels with the fishy. Awww I miss those moments :C

I've been in a really bad roller-coaster ride this year though. I went through months trying to get over him. I've done everything I could. I treat people badly and I treat myself quite unfair. But look where I am now? I'm back here at last. Back to where I was before. Maybe it's not the end of it yet. Maybe this is the road I should really take. Maybe it's just him. And I finally feel I got my home back. And yes, I fell in love with the same person again :)

But oh well, as I thought things are getting better, no it's not. It would never be the same again. The choice I made has made people turn their backs around me. And the closest people to me are against me now. No matter how much they denied it, action speaks louder than words. And they wonder why I never tell them about my problems? Look where it brought me to now.

I miss my brother. I really missed him. The way he talk to me changed. The way he look at me changed. He don't even look or talk to me, to be exact. I just want some honesty eh? If I disgust you, then tell me. I'll put off all my effort to be nice.

I stopped all the effort of pretending I'm fine when I actually never am. You think this is easy for me eh? One phrase baby and that's it I'm done, put yourself in my shoes and see how badly you treat me and maybe you'll understand how much I suffered! Thanks.