f

ARGHHHHHHHH FUCK!
who said it's always easy for me?
FUCK FUCK FUCK!

ahhhh let it out man

ahh, to these certain people out there.
I'm terribly sorry.
I dunno what went wrong.
well maybe I do.
and it's really not fair.
but I somehow feel guilty
and maybe I owe some apology.
so you guys, I'm sorry.
I'm not the one avoiding my friends.
I'm the one that's being pushed away.
but who cares to see that right?
all that's being seen is my mistake.
I'm not here to blame anyone.
I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW.
I'm just sorry, okay?

onon.

the thing I miss most

halu blog :) a very nice day isn't it? *yeayeayeayeayea* HAHA. well not really. but anyway. it's sucha fine I-dont-know-what-day when I woke up. but it's so frustrating when I found out it's already Sunday. yarabey, tomorrow gna be Monday. in few hours time. it's 10:15PM now. wish time could go any slower. soooooooooooooooooooooooo. it's mentot birthday today. Happy Birthday to you, Alissa Qaisarah. I know you don't read this since you can't even spells. but I wish you all the best and may you grow taller in this few days. ;))

it's Wani's birthday too today. look at herrrrr. 2 years old I guess. yeah, her second year of living. hahaha. dan dia sangat ganas. oh perwatakan yang sangat macho. :] she looks so cute everytime she ran to her mummy just because she wanted to see the picture that was taken. ngee. but my fav is always the cutest in the crowddddddddddddddddddddd. tho nya macam sad the whole day :( he even looks cute in his saddest face. haha. but we managed to make him smile! *claps* and a very big thank you to the bobblehead XD Ahhhh~ suka gilak sama nyaa :D haha

xox, nuggie!

my uncle john from jamaica

Say something to one person, no names:
I love you, okay?

Did you go outside for more than thirty minutes today?
oh yeap yeap.

What's 1 thing you do when you're mad?
curse? sumpah seranah melegakan hati you know ;)

How is your mood?
not good. bad. wait, really bad. haha blegh

Will you be up before 7AM tomorrow?
probably not. no way. haha. unless I'm not sleeping today.

When's the last time you cried?
uhmm. like, few hours ago?

We all change right?
mmyeah, we change, if we choose to.

What bed did you sleep in last night?
my bed. my beloved bed!

Three hours ago were you touching someone of the opposite sex?
no I did not.

Where is your cell phone?
in front of me. xpat simpan nyawa jejaoh :)

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them?
as a matter of fact, there is.

Do you have trust problems?
defiitely. haha

Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won't tell?
no. boohoo :(

Are you texting anybody?
yes. texting lovey.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
yeah sure. but I didn't received that today though.

When's the last time you said you were fine when you really weren't?
I have no idea.

Does the song you're currently listening to remind you of anyone special?
I'm not listening to any

Other than surveying, what are you doing right now?
farting. mind you.

What are you afraid of?
ahh lots of things. pondan ho? ahha

Who was the last person that texted you?
love. told you right?

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?
right this second.

Are your eyes the same color as your moms or your dads?
wow. xpasan. wakaka

Is there anyone you wish you could be spending time with right now?
mmyeah sure.

Do you usually have weird dreams?
yes, all of them doesn't make any sense. but still, they're so cool.

What do you think Captain Hook's name was before he had a hook for a hand?
I thought he was born with that hook. HAHA. ouch

What is your favorite smell?
NEMO NEMO NEMO<3

What's your current problem?
my current problem is I can't sort the problem out. feeck.

What's one type of person that you enjoy being around?
someone simply complicated.

Do you have one best friend, or a lot of good friends?
I have friends. at least I think I do.

When was the last time you felt like you needed a hug?
I need one so badly right now.

What pissed you off today?
haha. u dont wanna know.

friday finally. :)

ah~ I had a great day today tho. quite the whole day. except for two weird parts which I need to investigate. lol apakah. went out with jc, riz and nemo this evening. :) and guess what. we watched Kung Fu Chef. HA HA. craving to watch a movie bahh. tp cita bebodo ddiat xD there are like only.. 2 people in there. and including us, it's five. at the beginning of the story, ada jwak nok paham cita (of course I didn't get the whole thing) but dah tetengah cita ya, laaaa plah menda len la plak mekrang. -_______-" and at the end, we went out before the movie was over. the only thing I remember about the movie is about the duck part. 'cause riz keep mentioning about it. :] nothing much to explain other than, I had a great day. and oh, heres some pics. tho all of them kinda looks the same to me. hahaha xD

eeek. and oh. I've finished reading Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella. and I'm SO PROUD. haha becos I finished it in just 2 freakin days. hahahahhaahaha. it had been awhile since I read any thick book tho. well not really thick. but thick enough laaaa. can't wait to read another book! weee. wtf -_______-" dah la have to pinjam from people. menyusahkan tol la. brrrrrrrrrr. need to write something else but I think it's totally private huh? let's go to ur other fren, blog! :) toodles.

of clouds and sun

she have to catch up.

she needs to catch up.

only then, she can give it a rest :)

and and.

something wasn't that bad after all.

maybe I thought about it too much.

but hey, I'm having fun though. :)

and and and.

time is too precious.

I shudn't miss lots of things.

I shudn't be sleeping too much. :)

anw, life is getting dull-arh.

need to lighten it up again.

and probably needs help from others :)

here's the thing. I don't think anyone understood anything up there. but whatev blog. haha. I'm just in need of an update. -________-"

I didn't study anything today. quite nothing. meh. not because no one was teaching. the words were like floating in the sky and I feel like I was flying with pain. hahaha apaka. blegh. need to stop. mari mulakan kelas malam. here we go :] toodles blog

my eyes burning

don't act like it doesn't matter when it means a lot.
if you keep on thinking about it,
why in the world you thought that you actually don't care?

it's just that you have no choice.
you have no other choice than let it be.

-----

oh aku baru sedar yang keadaan tidak akan jadi baik kalau cuma aku yang mahukan sedemikian. cih, takkan mahu aku nyanyi lagu pupus? eh itu kes lain. ala, situasinya sama lah. bagaikan bertepuk sebelah tangan. tiada penonton di stadium yang menepuk menggunakan sebelah tangan bukan? kalau iya pun, pasti tangan mereka sebelah sarat dengan juadah berbuka puasa? apakan berbuka puasa di stadium. masalahnya sekarang ialah cerita saya sudah sesat dan tiada cara untuk reverse. oh kembali ke bertepuk sebelah tangan. jikalaulah benar mereka sedemikian, ahhhh buntu kembali otakku.

urat-urat mataku sudah tegang. tegang sehinggakan mataku terasa amat panas. ini alamatnya aku harus pergi ke katil dan baring dan pejam mata dan off to dreamland. walaupun ku takut mimpi ngeri kan datang melawat.

OH ESOK DAN ESOK DAN ESOK PASTI JADI HARI-HARI YANG... BOSAN.

lihat jarum menet. mepmep

Ah, sudah hampir pukul tiga! *yoseh, sa naep cerpen. ngada hahaha* yeah, tiga pagi. aku sepatutnya sudah berdengkur tidur dengan lena dibuai mimpi-mimpi yang sememangnya tidak pernah dapat diterima dek akal. tapi ini bukan harinya. sudah banyak kali aku procrastinating. betolkah eja? hentamlah labu. dan sekarang aku baru sedar. sedar bahawa aku tak pernah ada kerja sebanyak ini T______T walaupun sebusy-busy tupai melompat, aku masih dapat singgah sebentar ke blog ini. ala, untuk hilangkan kengantukan yang melimpah-ruah. oh belom lagi tiba di sekolah esok. aku pasti ketawa dalam ketensenan seperti biasa. masalahnya kan, bila di rumah, aku kata aku kan bwat kerja di skolah. tp bila di skolah, ku kata kan bwat kerja di rumah. jadi aku dilema lah! aku sedang menaep warkah ini secepat mungkin agar ku dapat sambung kerja yang tergendala sebentar tadi. tapi ku perlukan nescafe lagi :( tapi tapi aku tidak berani untuk ke dapur. oh tidaaaaaaaak. kegelapan menghantui hidupku yang semakin hari semakin gelap. *menerima saranan untuk melambatkan pemanasan global* apakan? aku sudah terpengaruh dengan kerja-kerja yang dibuat aku tadi. otakku masih inertia. apakan lagi? wah memang sudah tahap bongok. buntu buntu buntut eh buntu. GRRR. bantu aku hadapi realiti yang semakin menjadi-jadi ini. masa berlalu semakin pantas dan aku pula sebaliknya, adakah ini kesan semulajadi? aku tidak mengerti semua ini. awwwwwwwwwwwh. I need to breathe~

maafkan kesalahan-kesalahan bahasa. aku sememangnya bukan seorang warganegara yang sihat dan cerdas, hatta bahasaku lintang-pukang.

oh oh kamu, jika kamu masih menjadi pembaca, good luck for the final kay? all the best for you. I'll pray for it. easy for you, tough for others. haha cruel. loveshugs! :)

fried

well, that was yesterday's. automatik merangkap gelaran antara hari paling boring dalam kehidupan saya. I feel so ewwy through the day. just imagine your feet in that damn wet and nasty shoes. with your socks soaking with water. and tadpoles swimming through each of your toes. kay, I made that up. but apa salahnya mejin trus kan? haha. we were supposed to be the runners. but the teachers called us walkers 'cause we walk. -_-" we are runners who walk! :) padang yeaaa. masyaAllah. kdak banjir jak. skali jalan, sampey soar basah. cdeh taw x? :( dah la boring gila jak. tapi tapi. wawa. HAHAHA. kiddin doe. so after that I didn't go to gerko. went back home and tido trus until it's nearly 6.30. great sleep woi. :D hee

here it is. this is the truth. I got my tummy growling everytime I wanna start doing homeworks. SO I end up laying in bed all night waiting my naptime to come. haha. I'm serious -____-" homeworks are sickening tho. dan saya amat pelik ketika mereka classmates cakap tada homeworks (cos they've done it) while I collect all of those homeworks. I didn't do any of them. so sikalang memang dasyat oh bilangan kerja. HEESH. dah lah markah test lepas smua gilababik la cantek. kalau saya waras, memang saya patah hati. oleh kerana kondisi saya yang kurang betol, saya cuma akan fikir, oh sudah biasa dengan markah begini :S

yesterday was Thursday so today is Friday. it's an ordinary Friday. maybe a bit less ordinary for some reasons. heee. this week nearly end and gosh it's so.. dull -_____-" byebye

universe

Name: nurul
Date: 4/11/2009
Colorgenics Number: 07243561

At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.

You have a high opinion of yourself. It is perhaps because of this self-centredness that you become exasperated when you feel that your needs are misinterpreted by those around you. When this happens - and it does quite often - you feel that there is no-one that can understand the way you feel and it is because of this egocentric self that you are quick to take offence.

You feel that nobody really appreciates you and this is causing you considerable stress. You feel that you have to sublimate your emotions and this is depressing you no end. You feel that the only way you can resolve this untenable situation is to get away from it all and re-establish your own individuality. Co-operation is very important in your life, but this has not been forthcoming from anyone. No-one seems to care and it is because of this situation that you are finding it increasingly more difficult to let yourself go and as a result you are becoming more and more isolated and even, to some extent, introverted. You are displaying a touchy and an over sensitive personality. Trying to take on the whole world doesn't help - you need to relax.

Be it through unfulfilled emotional requirements, whatever the circumstances you are experiencing considerable stress, be it mental or physical. To your credit you are attempting to escape from this by endeavouring to create a semblance of peace and serenity by refusing to allow yourself to be involved. You have the strength to 'pull through' and all indications are that you will... perhaps sooner than you even believed possible.

& one thing I can say is, WOW. that thing surely turned my thought into words. thank you very much, Paul Goldin. HAHA. why don't you give IT a try? :)

current condition; I don't feel good and no one is helping me to feel that way. brrh. toodles blog.

BED!

Ya Allah. think brain think. I have no idea what to update bah. berilah saya sedikit idea. mahupun hanya satu keyword untuk memulakan bicara. -_-"



okaaaaaay. as you may see, it's the 10th of April today. how time flies! we had our 2nd prog last week. and it's really funny. not the papers of course. US the one that is. haha. the first day was ohkay I guess. had chemistry, english and history. epp I take that back. it was not ohkay. I did sejarah really badly. I don't have the heart to study that thang. memorizing esp. and guess what my teacher said? kamu tak perlu faham oh. hafal saja. jangan faham. and I have hard times thinking how to memorize things I don't even understand. haha. simply memorize it kaa? without understanding what it's about? kenot bah teacherr. the questions were annoying. we were supposed to hafal the pengenalan. whatthe? and they asked about what that coedis or may I say cooodes guy said about blabla. and also about the tahap kehidupan blabla. like wth am I complaining these here. Miss Tiong, read this! >:[ hahaha kiddin. next, the second day. bm and +maths. when I was sitting for the bm paper, lega lah bila baca the qs. but then when I was writing for the essay, rasa macam gila lah nak fikir isi. dayum. :E +maths? no comment :) you know I knowww lah kay?! hahah. the next day, we had pi, maths and physics. doomed, I say. and thursday, the last day. it was biology and sivics. bio, ooooohlala. though it was some simple simple shit, I still can't do it. all the info was +poooofed+ during the test. I even forgot LYSOSOME. rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. and sivics, HAHA. that's enough to describe it. first qs, apakah keluarga? something like that lah. and I crapped all the way there. so overall, it was a really funny week. -_________-" pengajaran kepada diri sendiri ; sila belajar jika tahu anda ada ujian. dan janganlah tidur terlalu awal semata-mata kerana malas belajar. and, padan muka.

it's Friday today. wait, it's Good Friday today. it's Holiday. :) I've spent most of the day on bed. really. went to lambir last night. RTM to be exact. just following parents. 'cause I dont wanna be stuck at home. but I end up sleeping at that boring place. haha. went home when it was nearly one. slept and woke up around 10. what a rest! wake up wake up on saturday nightt. lalalala. -__-" I'm craving to meet someone. garrr. nemo. where are youu. I miss you :( and to my dearest friend, sorry I can't grant your wish. perhaps next time kayy. and I already feel like sleeping right now. it's 10:12 peeps, and I'm sleepy. maka xbwat apa2 the whole day. wow. I shud start a sleeping club.

oh I read this something on someone's page. and she made me realized *for the i-dont-know-how-many-times already* that things change. things will surely change. moreover, if you're far apart. things will simply change. either in a good way, or a totally opposite way. mengikut pengalaman beta yg tak seberapa. ada hubungan beta bersama seorg kakanda beta. pada mulanya pahit pahit tidak berapa manis. setelah mengerti erti berjauhan, hatta terapatlah kami berdua. maka mengapa? oh kerana kami baru mengerti hubungan istimewa tersebut. dan I bet she already realized that changes made her realized some relationship didn't actually worked perfectly as it is when people are far apart. :) tapi at least disedari sbelum semuany pergi terlalu jauh bukan? haha. lalalala what am I talkin about. the future near but never certainn :D

RAWRRR. I'm tired already. update soon kay blog. toodles!

no, she never forgets :)
it's you guys who thought that.