Babi ah

I don't want to hold on these tears and I don't want to bottled myself like this again. I already have you but why can't you be the person I turned to? I sensed another breakdown. I sensed it since the morning when I started to get all hyper and all happy. Yeah that's exactly the sign that everything won't be right. And look at me right now. You don't even ask me what's wrong.

I can't handle the things in the class anymore. I know you guys love to joke so freaking much. All the time, to be exact. But I have my limits too. Eh sedar lah korang. I can't even joke around with you guys, semua nak kecik hati. Fikir aku have no feelings eh? Wey I manusia lah. Again, I have my limits too. And you guys are getting on my nerves. Seriously now.

I need my cure. I need something to calm me down. I need those thing that helped me when I didn't have him around. I need loads of it but there aren't any around. I need to be skyfogging right now. I need to forget that I have you and I should have you helping me with myself. But you don't even reply to my texts.

My chest hurts. I'm not exaggerating stuffs but I guess I need to stop having so much expectations. I wish I can tell you what have been running through my mind the whole day. I wish I can put them into words. But all I feel right now is numbness in my heart. Disappointment towards us. Frustration for what I thought we could have become. You can't handle me. My efforts were useless. and I raise my white flag, I give up.

This is heartbreaking.